Just sittin' here, listening to some random music. You know when you just set iTunes to random and see what plays? On comes a track by The Rev. Billy C. Wirtz, he's a comedian, jazz/blues pianist, former wrestling manager, and minister of his own religion.
The First House of Polyester Worship and Horizontal Throbbing Teenage Desire
Our Lady of the White Go-Go Boot Lord of the 40-Watt Undulating
Bubbling Lava Lamp Apocalyptic No Pizza Take-out After 12 Achey-Breaky
Say that five times fast... anyway, point is, this track by him called "Wirtz of Wisdom" came on and it's full of things he's learned in life and he shared them with the masses. Some of it may apply, some of it may not. Here's a transcript of it.
Ya live for moments like this on the road when you forget where you are and the time is blowin' by so fast, and you're just kind of in the zone and it's kind of like you're in a little universe by yourself.
Then you go out into the real world and sometimes live ain't quite as good as it was and you have to pull back on moments like this to get you through the rough times. Friends, sometime when you're climbing up the rough side of the mountain and life gets a little but tough for ya, if I can't be there with ya, at least remember some of the things that we've had and some of the fun that we've had together tonight. And remember the few things that helped me get through life when it gets rocky;
01. You gotta remember that the sacred cow always makes a tasty burger when you know what temperature to flip it over at.
02. You gotta remember to be cool, because one man's sushi is gonna be your neighbour's fish bait.
03. Ladies remember, just cause he's got a nice telescope, that don't mean you're gonna see stars
05. Fellas remember, if the good lord didn't mean for you to eat it, he wouldn't have designed it like a taco in the first place.
06. Never sweat the petty stuff, but always pet the sweaty stuff.
07. Honesty's your best policy, but video tape's your best insurance
08. Frustration is finding out for the first time, you can't do it the second time. But real frustration is finding out for the second time, you can't do it the first time.
09. If you can't get rid of those skeletons in your closet, you better teach 'em how to dance funny.
10. Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way if he's an asshole, you've got his shoes and you're a mile away.
11. Support community and public radio stations in your area, or you will be at the mercy of the Jesse Helm's of the world.
12. Ladies remember men are just like kitchen tile, if you lay 'em right the first time, you can walk all over 'em the rest of your life.
13. When you hear a sneeze in the kitchen, cancel that order for nachos.
Above all, the number one thing to remember as you go through this world; It is better to have loved and lost, than to have to live with that fuckin' psycho for the rest of your life!