Is this thing on? Testing One-Two, Testing!
Ladies and Gentletestsubjects, it's good to be back!
You may have noticed my absence these past few weeks, I have been away on an adventure your mortal brains couldn't begin to comprehend! After fixing the issues from the last power failure, the Lab Boys discovered an impressive side effect and we had a breakthrough. What I mean by that is, shorting out the cyclotron caused an actual breakthrough to another dimension! Well, several actually, so naturally when the first sucker... I mean test pilot came back breathing I decided that the best person to see the potential wonders of another reality was me! For Science!
So I've been dimension jumping, leaping from place to place, hoping each time that the next leap, would be the leap home... Wait! That was the plot to Quantum Leap! No, I've been walking back and forth through dimensional gates as easy as a normal person walks through a door. It's kinda tingly actually, with a popcorn aftertaste for some reason... anyway! Point is, I've been away exploring and I've seen some amazing places. There's the land of perpetual Wednesday, got stuck there for a few days, didn't notice what was happening. Then there's the crazy melty land and the world without shrimp. Those are just the tip of the trans dimensional iceberg!
Speaking of ice and such, I see the Weather Control Machine™ is finally working right, at least over the capital city! That last weather event was a nasty one and had the potential to completely ruin last weekend, or so the report told me. As we discovered with Weather Control Machine 2.0™ we can't totally eliminate precipitation, but we can convert snow to rain to make it less of a hassle. Turns out there is some truth to cosmic karma after all... lousy balancing of nature... Lab Boys are working on that though.
So now that things are humming along nicely and seem to be under control, at least that's what Joey Knuckles tells me, I'm going to take a couple of months and keep exploring these new dimensions and claim them in my name! So many possibilities and so many versions of me to leave in charge! Yes there are other versions of myself and other versions of the Bunker© and even a few where there was no bunker! Well I couldn't have that, so there are now! None of them have made the dimensional breakthrough though, so I'm the link between it all and I'm willing to guide the other me's to it and share our technologies between us all. For Science!
I should be back in September or October with all sorts of new doodads and whatchamacallits to amaze and astound you all!
Until then, I'm Steve Johnson, we're done here!