Monday, February 22, 2016

A Postal Odyssey

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

Went to my wonderful Community Mailbox this morning to find I couldn't get my mail. Two of the three keys don't fit the lock for some reason and the third key, although it fits, will not turn in the lock. No give at all, no wiggle, the lock is seized.

Opened a ticket with Canada Post, they advised that a fix could take till Tuesday.

Friday, February 19th, 2016

Update from Canada Post!

They resolved my trouble ticket. But instead of fixing my mailbox, they replaced the lock for my landlord's mailbox!

According to their computers, my mailbox is listed as Module 2, Compartment 16 (my landlord), when in fact since they put the gods damned things in, my mail has gone to Module 3, Compartment 1.

I have the envelope my keys came in that says Module 3, Compartment 1, I've gone to it every couple of days and taken out mail that has my name and address on it. Despite that, the guy on the phone tried to tell me I'm wrong.

The ticket has now been reopened (they closed it without updating me, despite the email saying I'd be contacted) and I might be able to get mail by next Wednesday now instead of Tuesday.

After getting off the phone with "Andrew" I got an email to update me and confirm the ticket was closed. So I called back and spoke with "Chris" who could see that what I had said on my first call was correct, I was using the right mailbox and that we'd need to get it fixed.

He put me on hold and then told me he'd need to transfer me to a local agent who could get this addressed and the lock changed. He transferred me to "Nancy" who saw the problem and said that for some reason in one system I'm in the right mailbox and in another I'm assigned to the wrong one. It was 7:00pm on Friday so no one could fix it then. But she'd call me on Monday.

Monday, February 22nd, 2016

Canada Post update.

No callback from "Nancy" at the local office.

So I called this morning to check on my ticket and was told their entire computer system was down and the call centre agent couldn't access anything. I've been in a call centre in that situation, so nothing against the agent. Then she says, call back after 5pm.

Now that's brilliant, call after 5pm when no one can possibly do anything for my issue cause everyone local has gone home. So I have to call tomorrow.

Second to that, I had a package delivered today and according to the tracking information, it's waiting for me in the Community Mailbox parcel locker.

So my package is secured and the key to the parcel locker is safe in my mailbox, that I have no access to because the key doesn't work.

The comedy of errors continues...

I think tomorrow that I'll just camp out in front of the mailbox waiting for the mail carrier so I can get my mail.

Also that package contains 2 batteries for my camera, so help me if they are ruined because of spending days in a sub zero mailbox, I'm holding Canada Post responsible for their replacement.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Blindsided by a storm

**What the hell happened!? Where did this mess come from? What am I paying you eggheads for?

Actually, forget that last question, I'm not paying you. Now get working on a solution or in addition to not paying you, I'll be sending you on a tour of the lava pits!

Now, turn on the microphone, I've got to address things... what's that? It's on?! Why the hell didn't someone tell me!**

Monday, February 08, 2016

Another Stormy Monday

Friends, associates, future test subjects, I'd like to apologize for a couple of items. First of all, for the lateness of this warning post, lab boys assured me that this time we had the Mother Nature problem licked but apparently that's not quite accurate.

Also for the power conservation orders these past couple of weeks. That was my fault. Entirely. See when you hook up your vacuum cleaner to a parabolic reflector and bombard it with microwaves in a centrifuge, it doesn't actually generate power, instead it reverses the polarity of the energon flow and sends the excess back through the existing infrastructure and it blows a gasket or two... or thirty.