I fucking ran!
Ok let me back up here a minute.
The first time was horrible, the second time felt strangely surreal. It had to happen again, it was just a matter of time. You work overnight and you have to expect it at some point and anyone who says they aren't is lying.
Time for a change. On the top, the original sneakers I've had through my entire journey. Just your average, run of the mill, Wal-Mart special sneaker. Countless hours on treadmills and believe it or not I was wearing these when I did my 7.5 miles of the Tely 10.
On the bottom, the upgrades. My new Nikes. These things are so comfy and cushioned and designed for running. A new start calls for new and better footwear. Thanks to my friend Sarah for the help and getting me pointed in the right direction to best take care of my feet and by extension my body as I get in shape.
***Just keep pedaling, it's the best we can do till the rest of the lab boys get the cyclotron up and running again. Thankfully the place it heated geothermally and the Grotto© has its own power system. I don't care if you're tired, we have to get the PA system up and running. When that little red light starts flashing, like it is now, I'll be on the air. Wait, when did that start... Dammit!***
Let me preface this with: I am not a doctor, I am not a medical professional. I am not offering any advice. I am just stating personal experience. If you have any medical questions for yourself or your circumstances, please talk to your doctor or therapist or health professional. Do not start any medications without talking to a doctor.
This is going to be another mental health talk.
My name is Steve and I deal with mental health issues. I have severe anxiety that causes panic attacks and depression that robs me of the desire to do much beyond lie on my couch. Something is messed up in my brain so that it doesn’t produce needed chemicals to achieve a balance in my brain. That imbalance causes problems, from being overwhelmed by the simplest emotions, to not being able to rationally process events, to being confused.
I'm going to be posting memories of me and my Dad here. I'll be adding more stories as I think of them, so that I have them in one place and I can read and share these memories of the most amazing Dad and friend a guy could ever have.
This is going to be a longer post, and has been a long time coming.
Out of privacy concerns and respect, not a lot has been said publicly or on social media. Yesterday I got permission to post things, because it helps me get things out of my brain. I'm not making this post for pity or for sympathy, I just need to get things out of my head.