Well it was bound to happen. Work in a hotel long enough and you'll get prank calls for reservations. They're normally few and far between on overnights, we normally get the drunks looking for a place to sleep it off.
But tonight we got a genuine prank caller. Twice! I didn't take the first call but it ended when my coworker asked the caller for his address and the response was "Hang on, lemmie look out my window... 1-800-FUCK-YOU! *Click*
Within a minute, the guy calls back and I get him. What follows is the transcript. I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Me: Thank you for calling the Comfort Inn, Steve speaking, how can I help you?
Prank Caller: Wants to book a room
Me: Ok certainly, for what night?
Prank Caller: August 15th
Me: Not a problem, we have rooms available. How many people traveling?
Prank Caller: We needs 14
Me: You need 14 rooms?
Prank Caller: No! Geeze by we needs 14 nights.
Me: So just the one room?
Prank Caller: Yes
Me: How many people traveling?
Prank Caller: Just one.
Me: Alright, so you need one room for fourteen nights?
Prank Caller: Yes. Any cute girls at the hotel?
Me: I don't notice many people overnight. So the cost is $160/night
Prank Caller: That sounds good, are your rooms soundproof?
Me: The rooms are pretty quiet.
Prank Caller: Well what happens if my mentalitis acts up and 4:00am I starts beating on the walls and yelling?
Me: We'd appreciate it if you didn't.
Prank Caller: But what if I forgets me meds and it happens?
Me: The rooms aren't soundproof
Prank Caller: *Starts crying* What am I gonna do? I got no place to stay now.
Me: I never said you coudn't stay, I just said the rooms aren't soundproof.
Prank Caller: *More crying* You called me mental
Me: No I did not.
Prank Caller: *Voice back to normal* You haven't got a pool have you?
Me: No there is no pool in the hotel
Prank Caller: So no cute girls by the pool
Me: There is no pool. Can I get your name please?
Prank Caller: Do I sound like a Newfie?
Me: Your accent sounds right yes.
Prank Caller: I'm a Newfie born in a concrete box if that makes any sense.
Me: What's your name?
Prank Caller: Glala Francesco
Me: Can you spell that?
Prank Caller: G-L-A-L-A Francesco
Me: and your address?
Prank Caller: 14 Pakistan Road
Me: and the City?
Prank Caller: Pakistan
Me: Postal Code?
Prank Caller: ... *silence* ... *female voice in the background* ... Mom?