Wednesday, July 09, 2014

The Key's the thing!

Thank you Hotel Guest, for returning your room keycard. Yes I see it there on the counter, thank you for pointing it out to me.

Now I'll just settle your bill...

That's ok, you don't need to push the keycard closer to me, I saw it where you laid it. I can see it in the new place you've pushed it, thanks again for pointing it out, I can't miss it there on the counter.

Are you leaving the payment for your room on the credit card you gave at check in? I'm sorry? Oh...

No, really, you don't need to push the keycard closer again, I haven't lost sight of it in the last ten seconds. Thank you for holding it up, I might not have spotted the blue and white key card on the brown, marble counter top if you hadn't.

Ok the payment went through, I'll just print this...

What's that? Oh you've placed it back on the counter even closer to me? Thanks again, I swear I wouldn't have seen it, right in front of me, if you didn't keep letting me know where it was.

Here's your receipt, will you be needing our shuttle...

Oh? The keycard? Thank you so much again for pointing it out to me, little dickens might have run away otherwise. You know how those inanimate objects like to gallivant about. No telling what trouble it could have gotten into if not under your watchful eye.

So, about the shuttle to the airport...

You've lifted the keycard up again... was it making a break for it? I don't see tiny legs flailing about in a bid for freedom, so I'll just go on believing that it was lying on the counter.

Right where you left it before. After the first three times you moved it.

Right where you pointed to it.

Repeatedly.

Right where I could see it.

Lying on the counter top, continuing to be a keycard.

Blissfully unaware of it's existence, unlike myself. Your helpful reminders and calling attention to it certainly help me see where that keycard is every second. I won't lose track of it as long as you're around, with your eagle like eyesight.

The driver is ready to take you to the airport. What's that? You're pointing at the keycard from halfway across the lobby... No I still haven't lost sight of it, being that it's less than two feet from me.

Since you're now about twenty feet away, you can rest assured that you don't need your vision checked. You can see superbly well.

Trouble yourself no more, I've placed it back in the bin with its brothers, it's safe now among its own kind.

Thank you ever so much again for being considerate enough to return this wayward keycard and for being so concerned about its welfare here on the counter.

Travel easier, knowing this keycard rejoined the ranks of keycards who wait to be programmed again.

What?

Oh for the love of... Yes! I got the blasted thing! Go, before you miss your flight! It's just a stupid piece of plastic!

...Fuck...

3 comments:

Amanda said...

If there is a rash of key cards with cute little arms and legs drawn on the back of them everywhere I go from now on it will be your fault.

Carl Smith said...

HAHA Love the post. I work as Night Auditor and people do the same thing to me with the bloody key card.

Steve Lake said...

Glad you enjoyed it. I'm a Night Auditor as well and there's so many stories I could tell. This was just something that came to me very quickly one morning.