Friends, Romans, Test Subjects, lend me your ears.... Ow! Who threw that? What was... wait was that actually your ear? How did you? Detachable? That's equal parts gross and amazing... can it re-attach? Get the lab boys working on that! There's money to be made here I'm sure of it!
Now, on to more pressing business. I've been away for a while and left things in the, I thought, capable hands of various staff members. Now don't get me wrong, the lab is just as efficient as ever, the grotto is fantastic and the new training centre is coming along.
That being said, someone, Joey Knuckles I'm looking at you, decided to play with the Weather Machine™ controls. He said he tried to set it to "Tropical" but he actually dialed up "Tropical Rains." Why that's even a setting I don't know, but I'm having it removed. Also it seems the effective radius has been tightened up to just the Avalon area of the island.
Unfortunately this means maintenance is needed, and that means taking the Weather Machine™ offline. That's going to leave us vulnerable into the weekend and it looks like there's a doozy brewing... *do people still say doozy? Well they should! Wonderful word there.* *ahem*
Anyway, I know it's Monday but this gives you all time to prepare. Prepare my cut of your expected pillaging of grocery stores and gas stations, hell throw convenience stores on that list as well, that should be easy. See what I did there? Convenience, easy. These jokes write themselves really. HA!
Now I'll do my best to not throw too many of the lab boys into the lava pit so we can get this maintenance done and hopefully convert things to rain, but just in case, Paddy is getting the Collection Bots™ ready for their first outing. Remember, just give them your assorted loot n' plunder and get out of their way. Do not taunt the Collection Bots™.
Remember, we're all in this together, and by we, I mean you people. I'll be safe and sound here in the Bunker™ probably getting a massage. There's this new girl talking about a technique called a "Happy Ending" that I think I'm going to try.
Good luck, I know you'll all do your best to expand my coffers.
We're done here.