Thursday, December 03, 2015

Brace Yourselves, A Storm's A Comin'

*Tap Tap*

Well I'll be damned! You guys actually got that little light working. It's so nice and orange and all glowy like... Wait that means... dammit not again!


My fellow Newfoundlanders and Labradorians, to put things simply, we're screwed. The Weather Machine™ is in perfect working order, the problem isn't technological, it's magical. Gotta get some occult based lab people working on that, might need to do some hiring... but now, on to matters at hand.

It seems there's a new player in the game, making snow and ice all over the place. Mother Nature can't even control her and she's bearing down on us. I can't figure out how to stop this "Elsa". By "I", I mean that new team of eggheads locked in the dungeo... I mean my science team, who are working hard in the lab to come up with an answer. I do not mean that they are in any way restrained and dangling over a pool of lava.

Point is, we're facing a Snowmageddon for the first time since I thawed this province out in April. Now I personally visited a food procurement centre last night and you know what I saw. Food! Food everywhere! That's not right.

You people need to raid those stores, empty those shelves and when you're done there, you need to drain those gas stations dry! Then don't forget the liquor stores! Some of you might be trapped together for up to 5 hours in relative comfort, so you'll need booze.

I'll be here in the Bunker™ as always indulging in its opulence and enjoying the fruits of your loot n' plundering. The Collection Bots™ will be making their rounds as normal, as always you must give my 70% cut of the plunder to the Bots, do not taunt the Bots or try to stop them in their rounds, they will deploy "the juicer" and nobody wants to clean that mess up.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be visiting the harem for inspection till this all blows over. In there, the cold doesn't bother me anyway.

We're done here.

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