Saturday, January 12, 2013

Final Cave-esque snow commentary

**Is everything setup now? Even the hot tub and the hibachi? Good! What?... My microphone is on? When did you do...**

Greetings citizens! Steve Johnson here with a post Snowpocalypse update!

First of all, I can't thank you all enough for the mandatory contribution of your looted treasures. Thanks to your donations I was able to secure a new, state of the art bunker for myself to ride out the worst of this weather event!

Second, I'd like to apologize for the widespread and continued power interruptions, some of those may be my fault. Ok, all of it really. See the new bunker is out near Holyrood and apparently my power demands sorta shorted out the entire plant! Happened just after we fired up the new steam room/wet bar, oh well it's all fixed now. Lab boys tell me they've switched over to something called "geo-thermal energy." The way they explain it, we're sucking heat directly from the earth's core, which I admit sounds really technical, cool, but still technical.

We're now looking at a way to sell any and all surplus energy from the bunker to the government at a substantial markup from what it costs us to produce. I figure if they can do it to the public, I can do it to them!

Now although I do appreciate good looting, I do have to say that reading some news reports, I am severely disappointed in some of you. I've seen stories of assaults and robberies. People, people, people, you don't loot other people, you loot stores and companies and such. How are you supposed to sell off your surplus booty if you've been beating up on your prospective clientele?

So in closing, good job overall, we all pulled together and held up well through this hissy fit from Mother Nature. Lab Boys tell me there is a new weather control machine in place, hopefully this one won't melt down. Also, thanks again for the new bunker, I'll be able to do some good work here, I can feel it.

Oh, before I forget, be sure to watch ebay and that kiji-thingy site, I'll be selling off some of the surplus loot I received cause I just don't need it. I mean thirty seven pair of Lederhosen and two gimp suits? Some of you are really weird...

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