Thursday, January 31, 2013

More Cave-esque good ranting

*Tap Tap* Attention. Attention.

You may have noticed a dramatic upswing in the temperatures in the province today. For that I'd like to say, "You're Welcome!" and also "Thank You."

"You're Welcome." Because the lab boys finally got a test of the weather control machine that went mostly right. I say mostly right because we did get some rain instead of the clear skies I deman.. um asked for! They tell me the machine doesn't make weather, so much as manipulate what is already there. That means they couldn't give us clear skies, but they could make it so that instead of cold and snow, we got increased temperatures and rain.

"Thank You!" Because without your efforts and looting pillaging during our storms, I wouldn't have this fancy new bunker and staff of lab technicians. This is all possible thanks to you! and by "you" I mean my genius!

Now this has been a successful test, but I'm not stopping here. There are improvements to be made! There's science to do here! There's no reason that we can't get that machine to do what I want it to! Lab boys just need to work harder! They'll figure it out or I'll hire people who will!

Now I know there are some naysayers out there who say that I shouldn't be trying to control the weather, that I can't play God! To them I say... I'm not playing! I'll be campaigning for a position as a god at my earliest convenience when it becomes available. Not the big chair though, that's too much responsibility. No I'd settle for a position as a minor deity, as long as it includes immortality, omnipotence and a month paid vacation every August.

Now my jacuzzi hot tub and wet bar are calling so I'll clue things up by saying again, You're Welcome for the warmer weather, lab boys will continue testing until they get it right and I'll continue to languish in modest luxury until my ascension to a higher state of being.

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