Wednesday, February 06, 2013

A message from Steve Johnson, your Overlord.

**Tap Tap**

Ok people, we have a problem. The waffle maker is on the fritz... I mean the weather control machine... My astrologist says it's Karma for forcing Mother Nature to give us some good weather. I say that's what you get for hiring lab techs from Craigslist. Voodoo priestess my ass, next time I'm going with some good, reliable Druids!

Well, with the machine out of commission again we're facing another storm, or as I like to call it a "weather event." Now some of you more enthusiastic pillagers out there got the jump on this with those incidents with the power and it's appreciated, but don't get ahead of yourselves here. Start with supplies, I have heard that the grocery store clean outs have gone ahead as normal and the liquor stores aren't that far behind. Good instincts people! The alcohol will help keep you warm and able to ignore the cold and make the people you get snowed in with more attractive! Also it will give you a confidence boost and make you feel more self important! Almost as important as me!

I'll be overseeing things as usual from my state of the art, and tasteful, though lavishly decorated, bunker. I wish I could be out there with you, well no, I don't. I'm perfectly happy here safe and sound. But I'll be rooting for you all, and by you I of course mean me! After all, someone has to direct the looting and collect the booty and it might as well be me!

The automated collection bots will be out in force hounding your every move... I mean monitoring the looting situation for me. The usual 25% will be given over to the robots. Seriously people, don't mess with the robots! The last few individuals that did were reduced to a kind of lumpy goo, we needed DNA testing to even identify the puddles as human! Efficient little buggers I tell you!

Maybe I shouldn't have turned them loose on the lab team that created them! Oh well, live and learn as they say. That reminds me I'm currently looking for new minion... I mean Lab Technicians! Maybe I'll try that kijithingamajiggy this time.

Anyway, I'm going to go prep the robots and check the champagne levels in my hot tub. Have fun!

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